Childhood is a beautiful stage in many aspects, we play, we get excited, we have fun and we are happy even with the simplest things, we are creative, however, we also live situations that marked us as we grew up, experiences at home, in the school, with the family, experiences that caused us fear, suffering, feeling alone, rejected, we became undecided, our self esteem it was affecting, we were growing and we became fearful, distrustful, insecure, we usually compare ourselves with others, we minimize our qualities.
Since we were little we were like a little flower to which thoughts of power or not being able to be sown, of deserving whether ... or not deserving the good, of being important or not so important, words as duty or not should be, good or bad, We perceive the experiences and actions according to our mental age.
- 1 Self-esteem in adulthood
- 2 How childhood emotional wounds affect
- 3 Emotional Wounds of childhood
- 4 Ways to heal your emotional wounds "Self-esteem"
Self-esteem in adulthood
To start healing our self-esteem and know more, we must recognize what hurt us, to heal within us.
The emotional wounds that we live in childhood affect us throughout life, even in the stages of young and adult life, that is why it is so necessary to make an introspection, that is, to know ourselves deeply, to stop in our active life , reflect on us, what we have lived since we were little, learn how to detoxify negative thoughts and emotions, to start healing from the inside, so we will heal our self-esteem and feel better, we will awaken our consciousness accepting that we are valuable people , with talent, authentic people, capable of contributing to us and contributing good things, realizing that we have enormous potential to do what we set out for well-being.
Childhood is a very important stage of our life, this is because in those early years it is where we learn with many things, vocabulary, meanings, beliefs, but also emotions, thoughts, behaviors, from which we are forming our personality, self-esteem, healthy or insane self-esteem we reflect on aspects of our life (personal, family, school, social, work, couple) in our way of relating, and how we face the challenges we face in young and adult life.
How childhood emotional wounds affect
Traumas, called emotional wounds in childhood, will become part of our thoughts, emotions and behavior when we are teenagers, young people and adults, according to the thoughts they sowed in us.
From children we learned by observing, listening, it is also from childhood where we were acquiring beliefs that we hear from adults and people in general, beliefs that limited us in our development or beliefs that empowered us to feel good and achieve what we want.
It is worth mentioning that the adults who educated us, who directly or indirectly damaged us, surely did so because of what they learned, to begin to heal our self-esteem, it is also good to recognize our emotions, accept and recognize that we feel angry and sad for what adults including potatoes caused in us, it is good to let out the anger and repressed sadness but in a way that does not affect me and other people, in order to heal ourselves, there are several ways to channel emotions, for example, writing, shouting our pain in a cushion, in a safe place, not focusing attention on blaming our parents or other adults with whom we grew up and encouraged us good or bad ideas of ourselves and life, let's not get stuck looking responsibleThe most important thing is to relearn, take responsibility for ourselves, we are already adults and we are aware of what we want or do not want in our lives.
From this moment on, we take responsibility for our inner child (for our inner self), imagine as if you were your mom or dad, willing to love, educate and help your child / adult build thoughts, healthy emotions, help you evolve in a loving and productive way.
Let us know what are the wounds that are experienced in childhood, surely you identify with one or more.
Emotional wounds of childhood
1. Fear of abandonment
This emotional wound of the past, has its origin when the mother, father or caregiver of a child, can not, or does not want, respond as a protective figure against the fears that the child experiences, are small left in charge of third parties or left alone for long periods, or simply children of mothers or fathers who, for personal reasons, do not want or cannot adequately respond to the demands of company and attention that children require. People who have experienced experiences of abandonment in their childhood they are usually insecure and develop a emotional dependence, based on a deep fear of being abandoned again.
Loneliness is the worst enemy of those who lived abandonment in their childhood.There will be a constant vigilance towards this lack, which will cause those who have suffered it to abandon their partners and their projects early, for fear of being abandoned. It would be something like "I leave you before you leave me", "nobody supports me, I am not willing to endure this", "if you leave, do not come back ...".
People who have had the emotional wounds of abandonment in childhood, will have to work their fear of loneliness, their fear of being rejected and the invisible barriers to physical contact.
The wound caused by abandonment is not easy to heal but it is not impossible. Thus, you yourself will be aware that it has begun to heal when the fear of moments of loneliness disappears and a positive and hopeful inner dialogue begins to flow.
There are parents who reject their children for various reasons; It came at an inappropriate time, it is the product of carelessness, rejection in school, family, etc. Constant rejection of our child will generate a process of self rejection. This emotional wound of the past in the adult stage will reverberate with the feeling that never, whatever he does may be "enough" in lifeAt work, in studies and even in love, these people will prefer to remain alone and isolated.
The fear of rejection is one of the deepest emotional wounds, because implies the rejection of our interior. With interior we refer to our experiences, our thoughts and our feelings.
Multiple factors can influence its appearance, such as the rejection of parents, family or peers. It generates thoughts of rejection, of not being desired and of disqualification towards oneself.
The person suffering from fear of rejection does not feel deserving of affection or understanding and is isolated in his inner emptiness. It is likely that if we have suffered this in our childhood, we are fleeing people. For what we should of work our fears, our internal fears and those situations that generate us panic.
Start taking care of yourself, making decisions for yourself. Each time it will affect you unless people move away if they do not want to be in your life and you will not take yourself as something personal that they forget about you at some point.
3. The injustice
From an early age, children have the ability to assess whether a situation in which they are involved is fair or unfair, or if on the contrary they receive equal treatment, and for those who have several children this is a matter of utmost importance . By living in an environment that has been totally unfair, this ends up deteriorating the "I", conveying the idea that they are not worthy of the attention of others.
An adult who has suffered this emotional injury can then become an insecure person or, on the contrary, a cynical person who has a pessimistic view of life. This person you will have trouble trusting others and establishing relationshipsWell, unconsciously he thinks that everyone will treat him badly.
Injustice as an emotional injury originates in an environment in which the primary caregivers are cold and authoritative. In childhood, a requirement that is too much and that exceeds the limits will generate feelings of inefficiency and worthlessness, both in childhood and in adulthood.
The direct consequences of injustice in the behavior of those who suffer from it will be stiffness, because these people they try to be very important and acquire great power. In addition, it is likely that fanaticism for order and perfectionism has been created, as well as the inability to make decisions safely.
Requires work trust and mental rigidity, generating as much flexibility as possible and allowing yourself to trust others.
4. Betrayal, promises not fulfilled
This wound has to do when the child was promised things and for whatever circumstances they were not fulfilled.
Sometimes parents are great promising, we promise and we don't keep promises, sometimes because we can't, but this generates a trauma in the little ones, an emotional wound, it teaches that the world and close people are not reliable, and when adult thehe will have an insecure, fearful and celiac personality.
It arises when the child has felt betrayed by one of his parents mainly, not keeping his promises. It generates a distrust that can be transformed into envy and other negative feelings, for not feeling deserving of what was promised and what others have.
Having suffered a betrayal in childhood build controlling people and who want to have everything tied and reacted. If you have suffered these problems in childhood, you are likely to feel the need to exercise some control over others, which is often justified with a strong character.
These people usually confirm their mistakes by the way they act. Healing the emotional wounds of betrayal requires work on understanding, patience, tolerance and knowing how to live, as well as learn to trust and delegate responsibilities.
Today more than ever this wound is seen, every day there are more children who grow up in humiliating environments, the bullying It is one of them, children who are constantly subjected to humiliating situations, teasing, and disqualification, whether at school or at home, grow up with a great tendency to depression and low self-esteem. Surely we will all remember some humiliating situation in childhood, we just need to remember to understand how serious this emotional trauma of childhood can be and how it ends up being a burden that we carry in adulthood.
This wound is generated when at the time we feel that others disapprove and criticize us. We can generate these problems in our children by telling them that they are clumsy, bad or heavy, as well as airing their problems before others; This destroys children's self-esteem.
The emotional wounds of humiliation often generate a dependent personality. Further, we may have learned to be "tyrants" and selfish as a defense mechanism, and even to humiliate others as a protective shield.
Having suffered this kind of experience requires that let's work our safety, self love, independence, understanding of our needs and fears, as well as our priorities.
This is a good start, to heal your Self-Esteem, you can start by recognizing your wounds, writing them down, expressing how you felt, how you feel, building good thoughts of yourself, sowing powerful beliefs to your inner child, at the same time to your adult!!
Ways to heal your emotional wounds "Self-esteem"
Identify, recognize your emotional wounds.
- Reflect them with the expectation of change, of healing.
- Make contact with your interior, writing the wounds that you have, in which they affected you, also express in writing your emotions, even how you felt about the treatment that your parents, adults and other people gave you, how you felt at that time , How do you feel now.
- Identify the negative and irrational beliefs / thoughts that have limited you to feeling good and achieving your goals, form constructive and healthy thoughts.
- Dialogue with you and if you want also write, something like:
Talking to your inner child
My little boy, you are the most important person in my life, I accept you, I recognize you, I trust you, you are not alone, you have me, we will create a healthy, loving and productive relationship. The changes we have to make will be done in a reasonable and healthy way. You are an extraordinary, valuable, important being, I will be with you forever, to guide you.
Talking with your young / adult self
I am a good person, intelligent, beautiful / handsome I am able to relate healthy to me and also with whom I decide being, I become aware of transforming weaknesses into strengths, I accept myself as an exceptional being, I approve myself as a great, loving, healthy human being, because I belong to this Universe, I love and respect myself!